Right, so I am back from another trip to my half-home Goa. Now, don't take me wrong, I love Goa. It is an awesome party place, lots of interesting people and fantastic, picturesque locations to take pictures of and show around to awed friends/colleagues once you come back.
However, being half Goan, I have always seen this other side of Goa, the simpler one; where you draw water from a well, crap in outhouses, run to the beach in the evenings and hang around with a beer at night patiently waiting for dinner. And since I have seen this side of life in Goa, every time I go to Goa just for the express purpose of partying, I always come back wishing I had done it the other way around. Where I could have just done the normal routine thing and then for a couple of nights done the binge drinking, partying scene.
Or maybe I am just getting old.
Anyhoo, I am back, with a tan so bad I now 'look' firmly south Indian; not that I have a problem with it. I drank what seemed like a zillion beers and a few liters of sea water, smoked a gazillion cigarettes, flirted with no body (though got minor crush on a guitarist called Elvis), walked a thousand miles, ate a couple of pigs, a few hundred chickens and a couple of kilos of rice.
By the fifth day, I wanted to go home. I was tired and sleep deprived, missed my mom, my dog and my bed and just wanted to wear clothes that didn't smell of the sea.
I am old.
Showing posts with label men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label men. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Truth Be Told
Prospective No "Hopefully Final" is firmly out of the window and I am so heartbroken, it has taken me close to two months to even start talking about it. The worst part is, I have no idea what I did this time.
Which kind of brings me to the eternal question of "What the fuck do men actually want?"
Now, I've had my share of completely fucked up men in the past. Drug addicts, women beaters, models (you know the type), male ego flag-bearers and such. But at the end of this delightful journey, I have nothing to show; no interesting anecdotes, no helpful advice, nothing. And I think I need to do some serious thinking to help out those gullible, sweet girls, who mistake my promiscuity for a wealth of experience and come to me with questions that I have no answer for.
I am going to try and answer some of their questions here. More answers to come as and when they are posed!
Q1. Why do men run away if you pay attention to them?
Ans - Firstly, getting a mans attention is easy as hell. Act like the girlfriend he has never had, all level headed and sane and completely non-possessive, show a little of you famed cleavage and bam! Hes all eyes!!
Now, keeping their attention is the problem.
A man does not like it when you run after them. And you always have to walk a fine line between ignoring him and Oh-God-I-cannot-breathe-without-his-presence-in-my-life-and-I-want-to-make-him-thousands-of-pretty-babies-that-look-just-like-him.
Now, my reasoning for this is, men share a couple of genomes with dogs. No, no it true!! Let me prove it.
You must have noticed how dogs get most excited when they are chasing something; balls, rabbits, bitches on heat, their own tail? However, keep a ball next to them for too long and they lose interest till you throw it away from them to chase again. Similarly, a man will never be interested in a woman if you show interest in them for too long. Tantalize them with a little interest now and then and they will be faithful and loyal for the rest of the duration of your interest.
Now, I know how hard it is for women to control their urges to pick up the little pooches and shower their love and attention on them. Control those urges!! Go shopping if you must; get a stuffed dog or something!! But keep those loving feelings under wraps!!
Q 2. Why do men always check out other women, regardless of who they are with at the time?
Ans - It’s not your fault if he looks at other women and it’s definitely not because you decided to meet him in your sweats. I would attribute this partly to one of the seven deadly sins, Lust and partly to my earlier answer. Men love the chase and they will check out anything they can’t have. So that hot-assed chica that just walked past is just one of the many women he can lust after but never get. Its not you, it’s definitely him. So relax! And, if you want to test my theory, meet him in your best outfit, looking like a million bucks. He will still look at an average looking woman who has nothing but a good ass.
Q 3. Why are men commitment phobic?
Ans - Men are delusional. Pure and simple. They run screaming from commitment because they always think they can get a woman better than you. Or better still, they think they can beat Don Juan's record and be the king of a country full of hot Brazilian models who he can bed every night. Pah!! Don't worry about it. When men have gone and tried to (unsuccessfully) sow their wild oats, they will realize what complete asses they are! Wait for it, it going to be beautiful!
Now, I know this post is going to invite a lot of ire. Bring it on!
Which kind of brings me to the eternal question of "What the fuck do men actually want?"
Now, I've had my share of completely fucked up men in the past. Drug addicts, women beaters, models (you know the type), male ego flag-bearers and such. But at the end of this delightful journey, I have nothing to show; no interesting anecdotes, no helpful advice, nothing. And I think I need to do some serious thinking to help out those gullible, sweet girls, who mistake my promiscuity for a wealth of experience and come to me with questions that I have no answer for.
I am going to try and answer some of their questions here. More answers to come as and when they are posed!
Q1. Why do men run away if you pay attention to them?
Ans - Firstly, getting a mans attention is easy as hell. Act like the girlfriend he has never had, all level headed and sane and completely non-possessive, show a little of you famed cleavage and bam! Hes all eyes!!
Now, keeping their attention is the problem.
A man does not like it when you run after them. And you always have to walk a fine line between ignoring him and Oh-God-I-cannot-breathe-without-his-presence-in-my-life-and-I-want-to-make-him-thousands-of-pretty-babies-that-look-just-like-him.
Now, my reasoning for this is, men share a couple of genomes with dogs. No, no it true!! Let me prove it.
You must have noticed how dogs get most excited when they are chasing something; balls, rabbits, bitches on heat, their own tail? However, keep a ball next to them for too long and they lose interest till you throw it away from them to chase again. Similarly, a man will never be interested in a woman if you show interest in them for too long. Tantalize them with a little interest now and then and they will be faithful and loyal for the rest of the duration of your interest.
Now, I know how hard it is for women to control their urges to pick up the little pooches and shower their love and attention on them. Control those urges!! Go shopping if you must; get a stuffed dog or something!! But keep those loving feelings under wraps!!
Q 2. Why do men always check out other women, regardless of who they are with at the time?
Ans - It’s not your fault if he looks at other women and it’s definitely not because you decided to meet him in your sweats. I would attribute this partly to one of the seven deadly sins, Lust and partly to my earlier answer. Men love the chase and they will check out anything they can’t have. So that hot-assed chica that just walked past is just one of the many women he can lust after but never get. Its not you, it’s definitely him. So relax! And, if you want to test my theory, meet him in your best outfit, looking like a million bucks. He will still look at an average looking woman who has nothing but a good ass.
Q 3. Why are men commitment phobic?
Ans - Men are delusional. Pure and simple. They run screaming from commitment because they always think they can get a woman better than you. Or better still, they think they can beat Don Juan's record and be the king of a country full of hot Brazilian models who he can bed every night. Pah!! Don't worry about it. When men have gone and tried to (unsuccessfully) sow their wild oats, they will realize what complete asses they are! Wait for it, it going to be beautiful!
Now, I know this post is going to invite a lot of ire. Bring it on!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Anon Stuff
Stuff is always happening to me. I am one of those people who can't go through life without having a couple of accidents, getting caught in endless traffic jams, being diagnosed with weird diseases nobody has ever heard of before, either being completely famished for male company or being overriden with it and other such happy situations. There are times when I have to sit down, take off my running shoes and take deep breaths just so I can get back to my senses again.
Here is a lowdown of the last couple of days alone.
1. Nainital - One of my present clients has a hotel in Nainital and we have decided to take a few people up there for an experential visit. And even though I had no intentions of accompanying a bunch of seasoned travel writers for this trip, I have been coerced into going by my boss who I love to death but who can also drive me up some really high walls. So being the optimist that I am and forever trying to see the silver lining in my gray clouds, I have decided to go, taking my sorry little Sony camera along to take lots of pictures; considering I will practically be alone there and will have no-one to banter with. So my itinerary of the trip would look something like this -
3. Gautam Gambhir is the captain of Delhi Daredevils this year. Wow! I did not see that coming. Suddenly I am regretting spending a whole lot of money on my Delhi Daredevils jersey last year. I cant even use it for any other purpose. Dishrag maybe, but that's it. And I was so looking forward to the IPL and sitting in my watering hole and watching Delhi Daredevils matches on the big screen with a whole lot of beer sloshing around in my stomach. *Sigh*
4. Prospective No. "Hopefully-Final" is hovering around the corner. And I see some serious hope here. I so don't want to eff this up. So I am praying for the strength to not be a complete ass this time. Pray along with me people.
Ova and Out
Here is a lowdown of the last couple of days alone.
1. Nainital - One of my present clients has a hotel in Nainital and we have decided to take a few people up there for an experential visit. And even though I had no intentions of accompanying a bunch of seasoned travel writers for this trip, I have been coerced into going by my boss who I love to death but who can also drive me up some really high walls. So being the optimist that I am and forever trying to see the silver lining in my gray clouds, I have decided to go, taking my sorry little Sony camera along to take lots of pictures; considering I will practically be alone there and will have no-one to banter with. So my itinerary of the trip would look something like this -
- Try not to puke on the way up and down
- Appear to be "all there, all the time"
- Eat. Lots
- Walk. Lots
- Drink. None
- Take lots of pictures
3. Gautam Gambhir is the captain of Delhi Daredevils this year. Wow! I did not see that coming. Suddenly I am regretting spending a whole lot of money on my Delhi Daredevils jersey last year. I cant even use it for any other purpose. Dishrag maybe, but that's it. And I was so looking forward to the IPL and sitting in my watering hole and watching Delhi Daredevils matches on the big screen with a whole lot of beer sloshing around in my stomach. *Sigh*
4. Prospective No. "Hopefully-Final" is hovering around the corner. And I see some serious hope here. I so don't want to eff this up. So I am praying for the strength to not be a complete ass this time. Pray along with me people.
Ova and Out
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Domestic Violence and the Human Psyche
Even though I have grown up surrounded by women who define women empowerment, I and many other women have been subjected to domestic violence, whether physical or emotional.
Wikipedia defines Domestic Violence as :
Domestic violence (also known as domestic abuse, spousal abuse, or intimate partner violence) occurs when a family member, partner or ex-partner attempts to physically or psychologically dominate another. Domestic violence often refers to violence between spouses, or spousal abuse but can also include cohabitants and non-married intimate partners. Domestic violence occurs in all cultures; people of all races, ethnicities, religions, sexes and classes can be perpetrators of domestic violence. Domestic violence is perpetrated by both men and women.
Domestic violence has many forms, including physical violence, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, intimidation, economic deprivation and threats of violence. Violence can be criminal and includes physical assault (hitting, pushing, shoving, etc.), sexual abuse (unwanted or forced sexual activity), and stalking. Although emotional, psychological and financial abuse are not criminal behaviors in some legal systems, they are forms of abuse and can lead to criminal violence.
I have a different definition of it.
When a
person has absolutely zero respect for you, your family and friends and has serious emotional problems, they indulge in a little "violence therapy" to feel better about themselves. Unfortunately domestic violence isn't domestic violence unless committed by someone you know and are considerably close to. Everyone cringes when they watch a movie which shows domestic violence in all its gross glory. Zeenat Aman went through years of domestic violence from her then husband Sanjay Khan. Aishwarya Rai tried to bring domestic violence to light in "Provoked", Jennifer Lopez in "Enough" and I am sure everyone must have at least seen the picture of a battered Rihanna that hit the news recently.
So why does a person endure such torture and still stay?
I am sure everyone has different reasons ranging from children, financials and then there are the other kinds. The ones who just don't know any better, like me.
I went through an incident of domestic violence 6 years ago. I had just started a relationship with an extremely good looking, suave guy in my office. All was good for the first two months. We had our fights but nothing extraordinary till one day I was too tired and walked away from a fight with him. I went to the terrace of my office to have my last smoke of the day. It was quiet 'cause everyone had left except for a few people in the next door cafeteria. I saw him walk out of the cafeteria and on to the terrace. He walked towards me and without warning, hit me so hard on my face that I saw stars. He hit me a couple of more times, abused me and before I could react walked away confidently with me on the ground, trembling and cowering. It didn't end there. Two seconds after he walked away, I felt something warm and liquid-y in my mouth. I felt my face and realised it was covered in blood. It was like a tap had been turned on in my nose. The blood just wouldn't stop.
I knew I needed help, so I somehow got up and walked into the cafeteria. I looked so bad, a woman fainted the moment she saw me. I was rushed to the hospital where I found out the bastard had hit me so hard, it broke a ligament in my nose. I still have problems breathing through one nostril and I need to get surgery done in order to correct it.
I didn't stay in the hospital. I went back to office. I walked right up to the guy, stood in front of him and smiled. There was no way I was going to show that he had broken me.
I stayed in that office and faced him with my head held high, till one day the guy got thrown out because he propositioned another girl to spend a night with him for some rupees. He got beaten up by the girls friends when he was leaving office. Karma at its best!
But for some reason, I never told anyone in office what had actually happened. I just told them I fell. And I will forever curse myself for it. I just couldn't bring it up. I thought it would make me look weak. I know better now.
Whoever faces domestic violence has to hit their own low point to realise that they
have to get out. Its an addiction. People who perform these hideous acts, are always so loving and caring and look so guilt ridden afterwards that if you love them you always end up giving them another chance. One of my friends was in a violence-ridden marriage for 10 years. She used to come with bruises on her arm from where he held her and shook her till she almost fainted. She always used to say that her husband was so guilt ridden after he beat her up that she thought there was no way he would do it again. And after some time, she just got used to it. It took her 10 years and another man, who loved her tremendously, to get away and file for divorce.
And, I am not saying domestic violence is restricted to men against women. It can be any form of torture, women to women and even women to men. And its just not right.
I loved the 2008 public service campaign called "Bell Bajao!" encouraging people to stop violence by ringing the doorbell where the act was being committed.
I don't think there is any cure for this and no matter how much the law tries to prevent it, its not going to help. And in any case, if a person just doesn't do it for the fear of being thrown in jail, it not really worth it, is it? Its the psyche of people that needs to be changed and the only way to do that is by education and awareness.
This post is my part in spreading the light.
Wikipedia defines Domestic Violence as :
Domestic violence (also known as domestic abuse, spousal abuse, or intimate partner violence) occurs when a family member, partner or ex-partner attempts to physically or psychologically dominate another. Domestic violence often refers to violence between spouses, or spousal abuse but can also include cohabitants and non-married intimate partners. Domestic violence occurs in all cultures; people of all races, ethnicities, religions, sexes and classes can be perpetrators of domestic violence. Domestic violence is perpetrated by both men and women.
Domestic violence has many forms, including physical violence, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, intimidation, economic deprivation and threats of violence. Violence can be criminal and includes physical assault (hitting, pushing, shoving, etc.), sexual abuse (unwanted or forced sexual activity), and stalking. Although emotional, psychological and financial abuse are not criminal behaviors in some legal systems, they are forms of abuse and can lead to criminal violence.
I have a different definition of it.
When a
person has absolutely zero respect for you, your family and friends and has serious emotional problems, they indulge in a little "violence therapy" to feel better about themselves. Unfortunately domestic violence isn't domestic violence unless committed by someone you know and are considerably close to. Everyone cringes when they watch a movie which shows domestic violence in all its gross glory. Zeenat Aman went through years of domestic violence from her then husband Sanjay Khan. Aishwarya Rai tried to bring domestic violence to light in "Provoked", Jennifer Lopez in "Enough" and I am sure everyone must have at least seen the picture of a battered Rihanna that hit the news recently.So why does a person endure such torture and still stay?
I am sure everyone has different reasons ranging from children, financials and then there are the other kinds. The ones who just don't know any better, like me.
I went through an incident of domestic violence 6 years ago. I had just started a relationship with an extremely good looking, suave guy in my office. All was good for the first two months. We had our fights but nothing extraordinary till one day I was too tired and walked away from a fight with him. I went to the terrace of my office to have my last smoke of the day. It was quiet 'cause everyone had left except for a few people in the next door cafeteria. I saw him walk out of the cafeteria and on to the terrace. He walked towards me and without warning, hit me so hard on my face that I saw stars. He hit me a couple of more times, abused me and before I could react walked away confidently with me on the ground, trembling and cowering. It didn't end there. Two seconds after he walked away, I felt something warm and liquid-y in my mouth. I felt my face and realised it was covered in blood. It was like a tap had been turned on in my nose. The blood just wouldn't stop.
I knew I needed help, so I somehow got up and walked into the cafeteria. I looked so bad, a woman fainted the moment she saw me. I was rushed to the hospital where I found out the bastard had hit me so hard, it broke a ligament in my nose. I still have problems breathing through one nostril and I need to get surgery done in order to correct it.
I didn't stay in the hospital. I went back to office. I walked right up to the guy, stood in front of him and smiled. There was no way I was going to show that he had broken me.
I stayed in that office and faced him with my head held high, till one day the guy got thrown out because he propositioned another girl to spend a night with him for some rupees. He got beaten up by the girls friends when he was leaving office. Karma at its best!
But for some reason, I never told anyone in office what had actually happened. I just told them I fell. And I will forever curse myself for it. I just couldn't bring it up. I thought it would make me look weak. I know better now.
Whoever faces domestic violence has to hit their own low point to realise that they
have to get out. Its an addiction. People who perform these hideous acts, are always so loving and caring and look so guilt ridden afterwards that if you love them you always end up giving them another chance. One of my friends was in a violence-ridden marriage for 10 years. She used to come with bruises on her arm from where he held her and shook her till she almost fainted. She always used to say that her husband was so guilt ridden after he beat her up that she thought there was no way he would do it again. And after some time, she just got used to it. It took her 10 years and another man, who loved her tremendously, to get away and file for divorce.And, I am not saying domestic violence is restricted to men against women. It can be any form of torture, women to women and even women to men. And its just not right.
I loved the 2008 public service campaign called "Bell Bajao!" encouraging people to stop violence by ringing the doorbell where the act was being committed.
I don't think there is any cure for this and no matter how much the law tries to prevent it, its not going to help. And in any case, if a person just doesn't do it for the fear of being thrown in jail, it not really worth it, is it? Its the psyche of people that needs to be changed and the only way to do that is by education and awareness.
This post is my part in spreading the light.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Confetti
Anon Issues:
Work Life
Vast improvement. A new CEO has joined and being from my previous workplace, has taken me under her wing. I think I just needed some mollycoddling. Pest control also happened, and my workstation is roach free, well almost..
Delhi's impregnable heat
Rains are no where in sight and the heat has built to an almost exploding point. Delhi reels under 12- 20 hour power cuts and this being the capital of the country. Sheila D, Chief Minister, par excellence. Meh!
P 5
New guy. Not bad. Weird name though. Has a good sense of humor but not very talkative. I think it might work out. Opposites attract after all. At this point, I am ready to try out anything just to keep my mother quiet for a bit.
Michael Jackson
I thought the intern in my office who gave me the news was playing a prank on me till i turned on the Television. I loved MJ. His music was universal. I still remember the time when I used to steal my brothers cassettes just so I could listen to MJ on my walkman. I will miss him. Rest in peace.
Ova and out!
Work Life
Vast improvement. A new CEO has joined and being from my previous workplace, has taken me under her wing. I think I just needed some mollycoddling. Pest control also happened, and my workstation is roach free, well almost..
Delhi's impregnable heat
Rains are no where in sight and the heat has built to an almost exploding point. Delhi reels under 12- 20 hour power cuts and this being the capital of the country. Sheila D, Chief Minister, par excellence. Meh!
P 5
New guy. Not bad. Weird name though. Has a good sense of humor but not very talkative. I think it might work out. Opposites attract after all. At this point, I am ready to try out anything just to keep my mother quiet for a bit.
Michael Jackson
I thought the intern in my office who gave me the news was playing a prank on me till i turned on the Television. I loved MJ. His music was universal. I still remember the time when I used to steal my brothers cassettes just so I could listen to MJ on my walkman. I will miss him. Rest in peace.
Ova and out!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Lose Weight, Dammit!!!
My struggle with weight loss has been on since I reached college and started eating like a pig. And since then, I have experimented with many fad diets including, the General Motors Diet, the Only Veggy diet and the ever -popular, eat-whatever-you-want-till-4 p.m. diet. None of these have worked. I even tried my hand at exercising; going for walks with my mother, joining a gym, dance classes, cycling, everything and my problem is, even if I do end up losing weight, after a few months, I give up and bloat up like a balloon.
Here are 11 signs (reasons, if you will) I have encountered over the years, indicating an urgent need to lose weight:
1. Being rejected ever so often because I didn’t look good or because I was fat or more often than not, the reason given is - "we don’t seem to be compatible enough". Ya right!
2. After you've had a satisfying make-out session, you settle in for the good snuggle with a post-coital cigarette, when suddenly a voice shatters your calm - "You really should lose weight, you know". It has happened to me. A perfect ending to a perfectly good (you thought!!) session!
3. You are climbing up two flights of stairs, and by the time you reach the top, you think you're probably having a coronary. You huff and puff for the next 10 minutes and conveniently blame it on your smoking.
4. You're with a new guy, the weather is at its romantic best and you decide to go for a walk. You're holding hands and enjoying the weather and the company when your boyfriend turns to you and says, "You’re not used to walking, are you? You already have droplets of sweat on your nose. It’s really cute!!!" All this is happening while you’re silently cursing the sweating genes you got from your mother.
5. You're preparing for a night out at the snazziest club in town. You put on your best top, squeeze your bottom into your tightest pair of jeans, wear your sexiest stilettos and reach the venue only to find that your friends look a million times better than you do cause they can wear skimpy clothes and expose their perfectly shaped bodies and all you have to expose is rolls of fat!
6. Black is absolute fav color. Cause it’s just so cool and you’re a rocker chick, aren’t you? Hmph!
7. You really like a guy; you finally muster up the courage to ask him out for drinks, just casual, with friend’s et al. He says yes and you are over the moon. He comes over and you introduce him to all your friends including your good looking and more importantly thin best friend. The guy is so enthralled by your best friend that he completely ignores you the entire evening and focuses all his attention her.
8. The guy in the previous point, strangely keeps asking you out for drinks and/or coffee. You realize it’s only because he knows that the only way he can meet your best-friend is if you come as well.
9. You are hungry and dying to eat the Big Mac burger at Mc D's, but you think twice before you eat in public and the only way you end up eating is when your equally huge and hungry friend eats with you.
10. You go to get your legs waxed and the salon charges you more than they would a normal sized person. Your legs are so huge; they have to use double the amount of wax and effort. I blame this on the hairy genes I got from my father.
11. You are cleaning your closet and you realize that the pair of jeans you kept from your school days, for "motivation", has started smelling musty.
I am going to lose weight!!
Right after I have this last slice of pizza! Oh crap, I am supposed to go out for a business dinner today!!
From tomorrow, I promise!!!
Here are 11 signs (reasons, if you will) I have encountered over the years, indicating an urgent need to lose weight:
1. Being rejected ever so often because I didn’t look good or because I was fat or more often than not, the reason given is - "we don’t seem to be compatible enough". Ya right!
2. After you've had a satisfying make-out session, you settle in for the good snuggle with a post-coital cigarette, when suddenly a voice shatters your calm - "You really should lose weight, you know". It has happened to me. A perfect ending to a perfectly good (you thought!!) session!
3. You are climbing up two flights of stairs, and by the time you reach the top, you think you're probably having a coronary. You huff and puff for the next 10 minutes and conveniently blame it on your smoking.
4. You're with a new guy, the weather is at its romantic best and you decide to go for a walk. You're holding hands and enjoying the weather and the company when your boyfriend turns to you and says, "You’re not used to walking, are you? You already have droplets of sweat on your nose. It’s really cute!!!" All this is happening while you’re silently cursing the sweating genes you got from your mother.
5. You're preparing for a night out at the snazziest club in town. You put on your best top, squeeze your bottom into your tightest pair of jeans, wear your sexiest stilettos and reach the venue only to find that your friends look a million times better than you do cause they can wear skimpy clothes and expose their perfectly shaped bodies and all you have to expose is rolls of fat!
6. Black is absolute fav color. Cause it’s just so cool and you’re a rocker chick, aren’t you? Hmph!
7. You really like a guy; you finally muster up the courage to ask him out for drinks, just casual, with friend’s et al. He says yes and you are over the moon. He comes over and you introduce him to all your friends including your good looking and more importantly thin best friend. The guy is so enthralled by your best friend that he completely ignores you the entire evening and focuses all his attention her.
8. The guy in the previous point, strangely keeps asking you out for drinks and/or coffee. You realize it’s only because he knows that the only way he can meet your best-friend is if you come as well.
9. You are hungry and dying to eat the Big Mac burger at Mc D's, but you think twice before you eat in public and the only way you end up eating is when your equally huge and hungry friend eats with you.
10. You go to get your legs waxed and the salon charges you more than they would a normal sized person. Your legs are so huge; they have to use double the amount of wax and effort. I blame this on the hairy genes I got from my father.
11. You are cleaning your closet and you realize that the pair of jeans you kept from your school days, for "motivation", has started smelling musty.
I am going to lose weight!!
Right after I have this last slice of pizza! Oh crap, I am supposed to go out for a business dinner today!!
From tomorrow, I promise!!!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Self - Help Books and Smooth Talkers
So anyway, before I leave my old job, I want to finish some projects and try my best to not leave any client/project in the middle. One of these clients was an author of a self-help book who was an editor-turned-model-turned-writer-turned-publisher-turned-author-turned-photographer. There were only two ways he could be so bloody versatile, one was that he had no idea what he wanted to do in life and two, he really wanted to explore career options. Turns out, its the first one!
I first time I met him was in his house, with a platter of food in front me (I was on one of my diets, and that platter was all I could focus on (or not!) and he totally took my breath away. Not because my stomach was revolting against my brain or because he was good looking, but because this guy could really bullshit!!!! I mean, he started off by telling me that he completely trusts me and has full faith in my abilities as a PR professional and he is extremely eager to hire my PR services asap! Now I wouldn't mind all this praise except for the fact that HE HAD JUST MET ME!!!!!! Now, my colleag
ue, for example, totally fell in love with him. "Ooooh hes so good looking and he talks so well and I am sure he must be a good author." I am pretty sure that my colleague has never really read a good book in her life but I was amazed at the way women just fall for any glib talking idiot on this planet.
Anyhoo, we did end up getting the project and the work started in earnest. Unfortunately for me, he isn't one of those guys who any media would be interested in but by pushing as much as I could, I did manage some decent enough coverage. Hes really happy and the reason why I know this, is because of a conversation I had with him yesterday when I decided to tell him about me leaving the job. Now, bear in mind that this is just a sample what I had to go through every time I spoke to him.
Ring ring
ST - Hey beautiful!
(Usual greeting! No problem there)
Naal - Hi ST!
ST - How you doing?
Naal - All good, you say? Back from ____?
ST - Yeah, landed today morning!
Naal - Okay St, I have some really bad news! (Ya, right!). I have resigned from here and have decided to move somewhere else.
ST - Nooooooooooooo! You cant do this to me!!! How can you leave me??
Naal - ???
ST - No I mean, you have the magical touch I so need in my life! How can you just abandon me like that??
Naal - No, No ST, I will finish all the work and if there is something pending then my colleagues will take it up. Don't worry, everything will be taken care of!
ST - No Naal, this is really sad news. You were my bright light, my magical touch, my hope, my Man Friday
(Excuse me, Man Friday??? What the...?????).
Naal - (Uncomfortable laughter) No No ST....ahhmmm I will take care of everything!!!
ST - No, but I need you here, with me. No-one can do what you have done. All the amazing coverage that I have got is just because of you. I will be eternally grateful for the amazing work you have done! Please stay!!
Naal - A little late for that (asshole!!). I have already resigned.
ST - Anyway, where are go joining now? Is it better than this?
Naal - Yes, definitely (obviously, no! YOU MORON!)
ST - Ya I guess change is for the good
Naal - Ya....Change is the only constant, right?? (errr, yeah I said that!!!!)
ST - Hahahaha....You've become really wise!
(I am sorry, become???)
You should start writing. I can foresee that in a couple of years you would have written your own self help book and you wont even need to hire PR for it.
Naal - (uncomfortable laughter) Yeah!
ST - Anyway, I know that you are destined for big things in life and you will achieve all what you want to achieve! God Bless!
Naal - (I hate people who say god bless, I mean honestly, how old are you? 90?) Thanks ST!!
ST - Bye Beautiful!
Naal - Bye
Honest!!!!!! Cross my heart and hope to die....that's the conversation I had!
I first time I met him was in his house, with a platter of food in front me (I was on one of my diets, and that platter was all I could focus on (or not!) and he totally took my breath away. Not because my stomach was revolting against my brain or because he was good looking, but because this guy could really bullshit!!!! I mean, he started off by telling me that he completely trusts me and has full faith in my abilities as a PR professional and he is extremely eager to hire my PR services asap! Now I wouldn't mind all this praise except for the fact that HE HAD JUST MET ME!!!!!! Now, my colleag
ue, for example, totally fell in love with him. "Ooooh hes so good looking and he talks so well and I am sure he must be a good author." I am pretty sure that my colleague has never really read a good book in her life but I was amazed at the way women just fall for any glib talking idiot on this planet.Anyhoo, we did end up getting the project and the work started in earnest. Unfortunately for me, he isn't one of those guys who any media would be interested in but by pushing as much as I could, I did manage some decent enough coverage. Hes really happy and the reason why I know this, is because of a conversation I had with him yesterday when I decided to tell him about me leaving the job. Now, bear in mind that this is just a sample what I had to go through every time I spoke to him.
Ring ring
ST - Hey beautiful!
(Usual greeting! No problem there)
Naal - Hi ST!
ST - How you doing?
Naal - All good, you say? Back from ____?
ST - Yeah, landed today morning!
Naal - Okay St, I have some really bad news! (Ya, right!). I have resigned from here and have decided to move somewhere else.
ST - Nooooooooooooo! You cant do this to me!!! How can you leave me??
Naal - ???
ST - No I mean, you have the magical touch I so need in my life! How can you just abandon me like that??
Naal - No, No ST, I will finish all the work and if there is something pending then my colleagues will take it up. Don't worry, everything will be taken care of!
ST - No Naal, this is really sad news. You were my bright light, my magical touch, my hope, my Man Friday
(Excuse me, Man Friday??? What the...?????).
Naal - (Uncomfortable laughter) No No ST....ahhmmm I will take care of everything!!!
ST - No, but I need you here, with me. No-one can do what you have done. All the amazing coverage that I have got is just because of you. I will be eternally grateful for the amazing work you have done! Please stay!!
Naal - A little late for that (asshole!!). I have already resigned.
ST - Anyway, where are go joining now? Is it better than this?
Naal - Yes, definitely (obviously, no! YOU MORON!)
ST - Ya I guess change is for the good
Naal - Ya....Change is the only constant, right?? (errr, yeah I said that!!!!)
ST - Hahahaha....You've become really wise!
(I am sorry, become???)
You should start writing. I can foresee that in a couple of years you would have written your own self help book and you wont even need to hire PR for it.
Naal - (uncomfortable laughter) Yeah!
ST - Anyway, I know that you are destined for big things in life and you will achieve all what you want to achieve! God Bless!
Naal - (I hate people who say god bless, I mean honestly, how old are you? 90?) Thanks ST!!
ST - Bye Beautiful!
Naal - Bye
Honest!!!!!! Cross my heart and hope to die....that's the conversation I had!
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Its all in me and other learnings
I have been relieved for the past few days. A lot of factors contributed to it. I le
arnt so much and I totally feel like Dr. Phil only better looking and lesser facial hair!
Reliever number 1: I finally quit from my shoddy job, which I can say with complete enthusiasm, was a constant pain in the ass. Although, I needed a break and more than the new job I was excited about the two week holiday I was planning to take before I shifted. Turns out, I get all of 5 days of holiday, which made me want to murder someone with my bare hands and carry her head around in a platter, just for fun. But all in all, I'd rather take 5 days off than none. So, 4th is my last working day. I get on a bus on 5th and head to my fav place on earth, Mcleodganj. I go there about once in 3 months but I hadnt gone in a while and I can literally taste the excitement on my tongue. Mostly because I am finally going there without a boyfriend or ex-boyfriend in tow. And once I come back, I get to join a job which is paying me almost double of what I got at this miserable one. Hows that for relief?
Reliever number 2 was that my counseling is almost over. I have been told that I am healed and I don't really need to go there except for maybe once in two weeks for a month and then once a month for a bit and then over. Healing basically meant that you end up learning that the root cause of all your problems in not in anything else but you. You are the one who causes all the problems and you are the cure for it as well. The moment you learn to respect yourself, to take responsibility and to realise that you are the best version of yourself, you're done. That is the only thing I learnt. All the rest was rubbish!
Reliever number 3 was P4. Now now, I know what your thinking but its not that. It didn't work out. He disappeared. And this time it was much before he met me and saw how fat I was. Which was weird, 'cause men usually don't run out on me till they see me. But fortunately and thanks to my counselling I guess, it didn't really effect me much except for a certain sense of relief. To tell you the truth, I didn't like him too much. I'll tell you the rest later.
Life's a bitch ain't it?? But it definitely has its perks!!!
Move On!!! (Love these ads and these ads, by the way)
And oh ya, Adam Lambert is not the American Idol. Wow! That one was a shocker!! And hes gay too! My mother just nodded her know-it-all head when I told her. "Ya ya I knew. He wore eye makeup and nail polish. Of course he is gay!" Prejudices, I tell you!
And Delhi lost in the semis of IPL. I had bought the jersey and everything! I was in severe depression for a bit but the thought T20 World Cup cheered me up. Also, after the finals, I had nothing to do when I got back home and so, reconnected with family!
And, I luuurrrvvvveeee this 46 year old Swiss Minister (Picture Right) that I briefly did a project with. Oh!! hes soooo adorable! Married though! But who cares!
I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
Learning to Breathe by Switchfoot
arnt so much and I totally feel like Dr. Phil only better looking and lesser facial hair!Reliever number 1: I finally quit from my shoddy job, which I can say with complete enthusiasm, was a constant pain in the ass. Although, I needed a break and more than the new job I was excited about the two week holiday I was planning to take before I shifted. Turns out, I get all of 5 days of holiday, which made me want to murder someone with my bare hands and carry her head around in a platter, just for fun. But all in all, I'd rather take 5 days off than none. So, 4th is my last working day. I get on a bus on 5th and head to my fav place on earth, Mcleodganj. I go there about once in 3 months but I hadnt gone in a while and I can literally taste the excitement on my tongue. Mostly because I am finally going there without a boyfriend or ex-boyfriend in tow. And once I come back, I get to join a job which is paying me almost double of what I got at this miserable one. Hows that for relief?
Reliever number 2 was that my counseling is almost over. I have been told that I am healed and I don't really need to go there except for maybe once in two weeks for a month and then once a month for a bit and then over. Healing basically meant that you end up learning that the root cause of all your problems in not in anything else but you. You are the one who causes all the problems and you are the cure for it as well. The moment you learn to respect yourself, to take responsibility and to realise that you are the best version of yourself, you're done. That is the only thing I learnt. All the rest was rubbish!
Reliever number 3 was P4. Now now, I know what your thinking but its not that. It didn't work out. He disappeared. And this time it was much before he met me and saw how fat I was. Which was weird, 'cause men usually don't run out on me till they see me. But fortunately and thanks to my counselling I guess, it didn't really effect me much except for a certain sense of relief. To tell you the truth, I didn't like him too much. I'll tell you the rest later.
Life's a bitch ain't it?? But it definitely has its perks!!!
Move On!!! (Love these ads and these ads, by the way)
And oh ya, Adam Lambert is not the American Idol. Wow! That one was a shocker!! And hes gay too! My mother just nodded her know-it-all head when I told her. "Ya ya I knew. He wore eye makeup and nail polish. Of course he is gay!" Prejudices, I tell you!
And Delhi lost in the semis of IPL. I had bought the jersey and everything! I was in severe depression for a bit but the thought T20 World Cup cheered me up. Also, after the finals, I had nothing to do when I got back home and so, reconnected with family!
And, I luuurrrvvvveeee this 46 year old Swiss Minister (Picture Right) that I briefly did a project with. Oh!! hes soooo adorable! Married though! But who cares!
I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
Learning to Breathe by Switchfoot
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
P4
Yes yes, the journey has started again. I have embarked on the trail of the suitable soul-mate all over again, after taking time off from recuperating from the disaster that was P3.
P4 comes along after a long break. Courtesy again, my mother and an online matrimonial site. (I am always a little wary of the people who register online. Why would you search for someone you would spend the rest of your life with, on a name attached to a www, which could turn out to be totally fake? But then I realise that I am on it too and I should really stop judging people on something I couldve-shoulve-wouldve done.) Anyhoo, my mother calls me up one day and tells me that there's this guy, probably the only one who showed any interest in me anyway, on the website and I should take a look. I refuse and she launched into one of her tirades as to how her life is going to end soon an
d she wants to see all her responsibilities taken care of before she enjoys the rest of her life in peaceful abandonment, bouncing babies off her lap.(My brother just had one and she has been in baby heaven since.) I rolled my eyes, silently let out a small scream and said, Fine.
So I logged in. Mind you, she had to give me the username and password. I had no idea about all of this, had never been on this site before and had no clue how all of this worked. After a couple of cigarettes, a lot of abuses and a vicious thirst for a tall glass of beer, I jumped in. There it was, my profile, filled with lovely little nuances and characteristics about me, some of which I didn't even know existed!!! First thing I noticed, a lot of people had shown interest in me. (I told you, the online world is full of weirdos). Second thing I noticed- P4.
Now, I have to give my mum credit. She manages to find some good ones for me, at least in her mind. Not that they are totally unlikeable or anything. They are just, well, boring! P4 however, turned out to be not-too-bad. Architect from Manipal, (you know, I really do think that Manipal manages to churn out some really "cool" people. I regret looking down upon it when it came time for my admissions. Forgive me, Manipalians, including Sa and Gee!), good enough height (so goddamn important for me, you have NO idea!!) from the same clan as mine, (very important for fathers good wishes and presence at wedding) and had similar taste in music. Now I know that may not sound as much, but stand where I am standing, and you will understand, to start well is half done.
So I said yes. Yes, he looks interesting; yes his picture isn't too bad either; yes, you can talk to him, ma. My mother called him and the first round of interviews were cleared("He speaks well. I have given him your number. He should be calling you today"). The call came rather late at night and we ended up speaking for a long time. I felt no "connection" as such. It was like two acquaintances talking after ages. Long uncomfortable silences, lots of "and tell me"'s and weird lets-get-to-know-each-other questions - "what are your hobbies" and such. But all in all, it wasn't half bad, except for one small detail which worried me a little bit. He broke up with his girlfriend of 5 years, about 6 months back. Now, according to me, 6 months in not a long enough time for a person to get over a 5 year relationship. It troubled me. But I guess, if the person is sure, who am I to complain?
Then my mother met him. She luuurrvvved him. In her words, "he is perfect for you, except hes on the slim side. You decide what you are going to do now." In other words, "can I enroll you in a slimming programme, or may be fat camp??" I love my mother. I am on a crash diet, boiled veggies and no alcohol.
And so, it starts; the entire game of who calls who first, who messages more often, why hasn't he called, its been a whole day, its 11:20, 23, 29 p.m., he usually calls around 11. Oh my god, he hates me doesn't he? Maybe I shouldnt have told him about...............
Relationships stress me no end!!!
"You can step out any time you like
But you may never leave"
P4 comes along after a long break. Courtesy again, my mother and an online matrimonial site. (I am always a little wary of the people who register online. Why would you search for someone you would spend the rest of your life with, on a name attached to a www, which could turn out to be totally fake? But then I realise that I am on it too and I should really stop judging people on something I couldve-shoulve-wouldve done.) Anyhoo, my mother calls me up one day and tells me that there's this guy, probably the only one who showed any interest in me anyway, on the website and I should take a look. I refuse and she launched into one of her tirades as to how her life is going to end soon an
d she wants to see all her responsibilities taken care of before she enjoys the rest of her life in peaceful abandonment, bouncing babies off her lap.(My brother just had one and she has been in baby heaven since.) I rolled my eyes, silently let out a small scream and said, Fine.So I logged in. Mind you, she had to give me the username and password. I had no idea about all of this, had never been on this site before and had no clue how all of this worked. After a couple of cigarettes, a lot of abuses and a vicious thirst for a tall glass of beer, I jumped in. There it was, my profile, filled with lovely little nuances and characteristics about me, some of which I didn't even know existed!!! First thing I noticed, a lot of people had shown interest in me. (I told you, the online world is full of weirdos). Second thing I noticed- P4.
Now, I have to give my mum credit. She manages to find some good ones for me, at least in her mind. Not that they are totally unlikeable or anything. They are just, well, boring! P4 however, turned out to be not-too-bad. Architect from Manipal, (you know, I really do think that Manipal manages to churn out some really "cool" people. I regret looking down upon it when it came time for my admissions. Forgive me, Manipalians, including Sa and Gee!), good enough height (so goddamn important for me, you have NO idea!!) from the same clan as mine, (very important for fathers good wishes and presence at wedding) and had similar taste in music. Now I know that may not sound as much, but stand where I am standing, and you will understand, to start well is half done.
So I said yes. Yes, he looks interesting; yes his picture isn't too bad either; yes, you can talk to him, ma. My mother called him and the first round of interviews were cleared("He speaks well. I have given him your number. He should be calling you today"). The call came rather late at night and we ended up speaking for a long time. I felt no "connection" as such. It was like two acquaintances talking after ages. Long uncomfortable silences, lots of "and tell me"'s and weird lets-get-to-know-each-other questions - "what are your hobbies" and such. But all in all, it wasn't half bad, except for one small detail which worried me a little bit. He broke up with his girlfriend of 5 years, about 6 months back. Now, according to me, 6 months in not a long enough time for a person to get over a 5 year relationship. It troubled me. But I guess, if the person is sure, who am I to complain?
Then my mother met him. She luuurrvvved him. In her words, "he is perfect for you, except hes on the slim side. You decide what you are going to do now." In other words, "can I enroll you in a slimming programme, or may be fat camp??" I love my mother. I am on a crash diet, boiled veggies and no alcohol.
And so, it starts; the entire game of who calls who first, who messages more often, why hasn't he called, its been a whole day, its 11:20, 23, 29 p.m., he usually calls around 11. Oh my god, he hates me doesn't he? Maybe I shouldnt have told him about...............
Relationships stress me no end!!!
"You can step out any time you like
But you may never leave"
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never be brought to mind?
I officially declare this year to be one of the worst in my life (And, here the new-old guy is going to say - "Why the eff do you keep cribbing for Gods sake!!!"). But it is true. This year has been one of the worst years of my life - The first being '07, "The Year of the Break - Up". I will of course write in detail about that later. Okay, maybe just a few sentences, since I am in the mood of reminiscing. A guy (the guy) broke up with me a couple of weeks before I was supposed to fly down and meet his parents, on the first day of my exams, after our marriage had been fixed, family members informed and celebrations begun (well, almost). Last year was the worst year of my life. And now, you know why. (Anybody who needs his address to pay him a little visit, feel free to contact me!!)
But, I digress. Back to '08. You will find below some of the worst things that have happened this year. They are in descending order of magnitude
1. My best friends mom expired. 'nuff said.
2. Problems arrived on the family front, and how!
3. I had a massive fight with one of my closest friends, and I am never, never speaking to him unless there is some serious grovelling involved.
But, I digress. Back to '08. You will find below some of the worst things that have happened this year. They are in descending order of magnitude
1. My best friends mom expired. 'nuff said.
2. Problems arrived on the family front, and how!
3. I had a massive fight with one of my closest friends, and I am never, never speaking to him unless there is some serious grovelling involved.
4. I earn lesser than what I used to last year
5. I started working with The Colleague From Hell.
6. Terror struck the country over, and over and over again. (Give up terroristy people. We will never bow to you.)
7. I went out of town almost always accompanied by an ex-boyfriend (eeeyeh). I dont speak to him anymore and that's made it worse.
8. I didn't fall in love.
9. I almost got married.
10. I saw some good action, hence making me totally emotionally dependant on the person providing it.
11. I did not wake up in someones arms feeling like I was in heaven.
12. I almost got caught lying to my mother (a lesson I still haven't learnt).
13. I made absolutely zero new friends.
And finally,
I got a haircut yesterday. And its horrible! Its as if a mouse was allowed to nibble on my hair. People have actually gasped when they saw my hair and that's almost never good. Nobody gasps at hair, unless its a shampoo ad they're looking at.
Yes, it's been a bad year!
5. I started working with The Colleague From Hell.
6. Terror struck the country over, and over and over again. (Give up terroristy people. We will never bow to you.)
7. I went out of town almost always accompanied by an ex-boyfriend (eeeyeh). I dont speak to him anymore and that's made it worse.
8. I didn't fall in love.
9. I almost got married.
10. I saw some good action, hence making me totally emotionally dependant on the person providing it.
11. I did not wake up in someones arms feeling like I was in heaven.
12. I almost got caught lying to my mother (a lesson I still haven't learnt).
13. I made absolutely zero new friends.
And finally,
I got a haircut yesterday. And its horrible! Its as if a mouse was allowed to nibble on my hair. People have actually gasped when they saw my hair and that's almost never good. Nobody gasps at hair, unless its a shampoo ad they're looking at.
Yes, it's been a bad year!
And oh ya, Happy New Year guys!!!
"This Years Love"
By David Gray
So whose to worry
If our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you know this, life goes on
And won't you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet
This years love had better last
Monday, December 22, 2008
TOW Realisations and Events
So, I've had an eventful couple of weeks.
1. I found a new guy, actually re-discovered an old one.
2. I came face to face with P3 and completely ignored his existence (Yay! for me) even though my plate was dying to fly out of my hands and sever his (I am sure) small dick.
3. I handled a high-flying party and met extremely influential people (and when I say influential, I mean influential...P. Chidambaram, Deepa Mehta, Praful Patel and so on. Yes yes, I rub shoulders with the "it" crowd).
4. I also abandoned my Goa plans (Sigh). Turns out everybody is crazy busy that particular week in Feb when I was planning my vacay.
5. And I realised that '08 has been a really, really bad year for a lot of people. And I am hoping the next year is better than this miserable one.
But the most exciting thing that happened was the new-old guy. Keep your fingers crossed guys....will keep you posted!!
1. I found a new guy, actually re-discovered an old one.
2. I came face to face with P3 and completely ignored his existence (Yay! for me) even though my plate was dying to fly out of my hands and sever his (I am sure) small dick.
3. I handled a high-flying party and met extremely influential people (and when I say influential, I mean influential...P. Chidambaram, Deepa Mehta, Praful Patel and so on. Yes yes, I rub shoulders with the "it" crowd).
4. I also abandoned my Goa plans (Sigh). Turns out everybody is crazy busy that particular week in Feb when I was planning my vacay.
5. And I realised that '08 has been a really, really bad year for a lot of people. And I am hoping the next year is better than this miserable one.
But the most exciting thing that happened was the new-old guy. Keep your fingers crossed guys....will keep you posted!!
Monday, December 8, 2008
Prospective No. 3
For all those people who read my previous post and were sitting all fingers crossed and fervently praying for my future happiness, here is some bad news. And while I am quite glad at this turnout and, more importantly, I know the "what goes around comes around, times three" rule, I am sure other people, namely my family, are not really happy with the result.
Okay, everything else aside, why are people so hesitant to tell the truth. I mean, we are all human. We all make mistakes and for gods sake, the truth will set you free and all that!!
Prospective 3 (lets call him P3 from now on) was one of those guys who want to try a million things on for size before they pick one. Its fine when you do it with clothes and shoes, underwear even, but not with women. You can try a shoe, not like it and move on, without even a "later!!" and not be at the risk of hurting its feelings. We women on the other hand, would like to be informed if you have selected another shoe. We want to be told that we have lost the race and there is no hope of winning the grand prize of a lifetime of slaving over the pot and picking up after our incapacitated husbands.
Straight after my first meeting with P3, and after he expressed his interest in taking things forward and me saying "likewise" to my mother, he left for foreign shores on a business trip. I did not hear from him for the next month or so. Not even a "Hi" or a even more casual "Waddup". It did not concern me much as I am well aware of how incapable men are in the subtle art form called Communication.
Upon his return, and the only way I knew he had returned was that I knew someone who worked in his office, I decided to take matters in my own hand and texted him. After all, this was as much as my decision as his. Right??? WRONG!!! And all women who have been through the entire getting-to-know-each-other game would be nodding in agree
ment right now. A woman is never, ever, ever supposed to take the first step. Its a cardinal sin and it makes you look desperate and needy and clingy. (Who makes these rules in any case??Patience is not one of my virtues and I always end up violating this one. Arrrghhh, I hate this rule!!) Anyhoo, I made the mistake and wrote him a very casual "Alive Yet??". Sacrilege I tell you!!! To my surprise I got a prompt reply. "Alive and Back" said the text. Subtle, bland, emotionless. I, on the other hand, was over the moon. And to further my excitement, I got a call as well. It lasted a while and by the end of it, I was imagining myself dancing around trees in Switzerland on my honeymoon. And in the duration of the call, plans to meet that weekend were also made. I even called up S and told her. That was my level of excitement.
So, I looked forward to the weekend. The weekend came, finally!! And no sign of P3, not even a peep. I waited, and waited and waited, till I just couldn't anymore and made another mistake. I texted him to ask him what the scene was and if we were meeting. And then I waited some more. Towards the end of the day, I got a reply. " Am with Boss who has come down from London. Have to chaperon him for the weekend. Can we do this next weekend??" And so naturally, I said sure and went out for drinks with S.
Next Weekend
By Friday I knew he had gone out of town again. Gone to the home town to meet the parents and the 100 day old niece. I was feeling all very nice and warm and fuzzy. After all, I was going to be a part of his family and his 100 day old niece would soon be my 100 day old niece as well.
Texts exchanged on Friday:
P3 -"Can we do it next weekend??"
Naal -"Sure Thing, No Problemo, Absolutely!!"
P3 - "How about coffee next Saturday?? "
Naal - "That would be great!!"
The weekend after that
Saturday 1 p.m. - I had bitten my nails down to their stumps in anticipation.
Saturday 2 p.m. - " What the eff??"
Saturday 3 p.m. - I gave up and sent a text - " I guess we are not meeting today as well??"
Saturday 6 p.m. - I had one of those revelations that people talk about. If someone does not even respect my time enough to let me know if he is unable to meet, I dont think I can be with him. I don't think I can spend the rest of my life in a guessing game. I called him to tell him off. He did not pick up. I finally texted him and told him it was not working out and the reason why as well. I got a reply.
"I owe you an apology Naal. I completely agree with your message and point taken. But I guess it wasn't working out for either of us. I met someone when I was travelling and I dint know how serious she was till she flew down to meet me while I was with my parents. And that was just a week ago!!".
So, I am supposed to be okay with that?? Cause, its just been a week since you have known, right?? Ya ya, Of course I can shrivel up and die honey!! Of course I have no self respect and of course the sun shines out of your ass!!
Now, I know I made the biggest mistake ever by taking the first step and texting him. But oh wow!! How desperate is she?? She actually flew down to meet him??? After barely a couple of months of knowing him??? And what the eff was he doing till then?? Waiting to see who proves how serious who is about him?? And if that is the case what happened to Rule No 1. "Women should never show their feelings" and Rule No. 2 "Women should never take the first step even if they are dying. No, not even a text!!" (Rules!!! Sod 'em I say) But in my defence they do seem to work on other people and not some EMOTIONALLY STUNTED WHACKJOB WITH VERBAL DIARRHOEA!!! HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL, FREAK!!!
There!! I Said It!!That probably saved me a million bucks in therapy...Don't you think??
So, back to being a spinster... Ahhh, bliss!!!
Monday, November 3, 2008
(A)men
What is it with men? Why do they always have to take each thing and analyse and analyse and then finally over analyse it. "Why did she say that? Was he trying to prove something? Why do women have to complain so much? Why is she touching my arm? " I mean, seriously, get a life!!!
Not everything that happens in the world has to have a reason behind it. We hold your arm cause we wanted to. We don't complain, we just voice our thoughts. We said it cause we wanted to say it....simple!! There is no underlying reason here. There is no conspiracy to burst your overly inflated ego. There is no weird, complicated thought process that goes into reaching out and touching your arm and yes! just cause we touched your arm does not mean we want to have sex, u jackass!! So, at the risk of offending my male friends and readers I would like to make a few things very clear (crystal if possible):
1. We always know when you scratch your balls, even when you are just thinking about it. Women are very intuitive that way.
2. We always know when you are looking at us or analysing our fat bottoms (or the lack of it). Again, an example of our intuitiveness
3. We don't always think about sex; you do (studies have proven it to be so). So, the next time we hold your arm or kiss you; that's it, that's all we want. Nothing more. Unless, we take it further.
4. You don't always need to hold you stomach in or flex your arms when you see us. Its okay if you have a few imperfections. We like it that way.
5. WE DON'T LIKE THE SMELL OF STALE SWEAT!! Buy a deodorant, will you!! And while you are buying one, have a shower too!
6. When we talk about our problems, we usually don't want you to give us suggestions on how to solve it. We just want you to hear us out. We are perfectly capable of solving our problems ourselves (unless asked otherwise).
7. When we decorate the house with fluffy pillows and such, its not cause we are trying to feminise you. We have been surrounded by such stuff since we were born. We just like it that way
8. Sometimes, we like just to hold hands.
9. We do like to be treated like little princesses (well.. sometimes). At other times we want to be treated like equally competent adults. You better take those mind reading classes now!!
10. We eat smaller portions than you (at least in public) and we don't appreciate it if you comment on that. If we wanted to hog, we would have gotten our (equally hog-like) best friends along and not you.
11. We like men who can hold their drinks and not men who start grabbing and groping after a few sips of lager.
12. Cant you, for once, see a girly movie?? I mean, does it always have to be the latest Arnold, Sylvester, Bruce Willis?? We like those movies too. But can't you come with us for a good 'ole romantic comedy and hold us and pat our shoulders while we bawl our hearts out?
13. Don't test our knowledge (latest Sly movie, exact distance between earth and mars and so on)and laugh/shake head/grin smugly/sigh if we cant answer the question. Do you know which is the next Meg Ryan movie?? No??? Then??
14. Tip the bloody waiter!! The last thing we need to know is how effing miserly you are.
15. Let us pay half of the bill. Please, it would be our pleasure and I am sure it wouldn't hurt....right???
16. We love cooking, as long as you clean up afterwards.
17. Respect our parents. For that matter, respect your own while you are at it.
18. If you let us keep our personal space, we will let you keep yours.
19. Whoever said the world was round was stark, raving mad!! The world is flat, like a table and if you go too far away from us, you will fall off from the earth and float endlessly in space.
20. And finally, a lady never rants or raves. She speaks her mind!!
Disclaimer (I seem to put in a lot of these) - These are just the views of me and the women I know. But men can use their own judgement (I hope!!)
Tire Swing
by Kimya Dawson
Joey never met a bike that he didn't wanna ride
and I never met a Toby that I didn't like
Scotty liked all of the books that I recommended
even if he didn't I wouldn't be offended
Later!!
Not everything that happens in the world has to have a reason behind it. We hold your arm cause we wanted to. We don't complain, we just voice our thoughts. We said it cause we wanted to say it....simple!! There is no underlying reason here. There is no conspiracy to burst your overly inflated ego. There is no weird, complicated thought process that goes into reaching out and touching your arm and yes! just cause we touched your arm does not mean we want to have sex, u jackass!! So, at the risk of offending my male friends and readers I would like to make a few things very clear (crystal if possible):
1. We always know when you scratch your balls, even when you are just thinking about it. Women are very intuitive that way.
2. We always know when you are looking at us or analysing our fat bottoms (or the lack of it). Again, an example of our intuitiveness
3. We don't always think about sex; you do (studies have proven it to be so). So, the next time we hold your arm or kiss you; that's it, that's all we want. Nothing more. Unless, we take it further.
4. You don't always need to hold you stomach in or flex your arms when you see us. Its okay if you have a few imperfections. We like it that way.
5. WE DON'T LIKE THE SMELL OF STALE SWEAT!! Buy a deodorant, will you!! And while you are buying one, have a shower too!
6. When we talk about our problems, we usually don't want you to give us suggestions on how to solve it. We just want you to hear us out. We are perfectly capable of solving our problems ourselves (unless asked otherwise).
7. When we decorate the house with fluffy pillows and such, its not cause we are trying to feminise you. We have been surrounded by such stuff since we were born. We just like it that way
8. Sometimes, we like just to hold hands.
9. We do like to be treated like little princesses (well.. sometimes). At other times we want to be treated like equally competent adults. You better take those mind reading classes now!!
10. We eat smaller portions than you (at least in public) and we don't appreciate it if you comment on that. If we wanted to hog, we would have gotten our (equally hog-like) best friends along and not you.
11. We like men who can hold their drinks and not men who start grabbing and groping after a few sips of lager.
12. Cant you, for once, see a girly movie?? I mean, does it always have to be the latest Arnold, Sylvester, Bruce Willis?? We like those movies too. But can't you come with us for a good 'ole romantic comedy and hold us and pat our shoulders while we bawl our hearts out?
13. Don't test our knowledge (latest Sly movie, exact distance between earth and mars and so on)and laugh/shake head/grin smugly/sigh if we cant answer the question. Do you know which is the next Meg Ryan movie?? No??? Then??
14. Tip the bloody waiter!! The last thing we need to know is how effing miserly you are.
15. Let us pay half of the bill. Please, it would be our pleasure and I am sure it wouldn't hurt....right???
16. We love cooking, as long as you clean up afterwards.
17. Respect our parents. For that matter, respect your own while you are at it.
18. If you let us keep our personal space, we will let you keep yours.
19. Whoever said the world was round was stark, raving mad!! The world is flat, like a table and if you go too far away from us, you will fall off from the earth and float endlessly in space.
20. And finally, a lady never rants or raves. She speaks her mind!!
Disclaimer (I seem to put in a lot of these) - These are just the views of me and the women I know. But men can use their own judgement (I hope!!)
Tire Swing
by Kimya Dawson
Joey never met a bike that he didn't wanna ride
and I never met a Toby that I didn't like
Scotty liked all of the books that I recommended
even if he didn't I wouldn't be offended
Later!!
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