Anon Stuff

Stuff is always happening to me. I am one of those people who can't go through life without having a couple of accidents, getting caught in endless traffic jams, being diagnosed with weird diseases nobody has ever heard of before, either being completely famished for male company or being overriden with it and other such happy situations. There are times when I have to sit down, take off my running shoes and take deep breaths just so I can get back to my senses again.

Here is a lowdown of the last couple of days alone.


1. Nainital - One of my present clients has a hotel in Nainital and we have decided to take a few people up there for an experential visit. And even though I had no intentions of accompanying a bunch of seasoned travel writers for this trip, I have been coerced into going by my boss who I love to death but who can also drive me up some really high walls. So being the optimist that I am and forever trying to see the silver lining in my gray clouds, I have decided to go, taking my sorry little Sony camera along to take lots of pictures; considering I will practically be alone there and will have no-one to banter with. So my itinerary of the trip would look something like this -

• Try not to puke on the way up and down
• Appear to be "all there, all the time"
• Eat. Lots
• Walk. Lots
• Drink. None
• Take lots of pictures

2. My Name is Khan, the movie - I watched it, despite not really wanting to (loving your mother and wanting her happiness at all costs is a bad thing.) So my senses were assailed by Shahrukh Khan in the wee hours of a Sunday morning, well it was 12 in the afternoon actually, but wee hours for me nonetheless. Fortunately for me, the movie wasn't half bad. Although, I totally disagree with Nikhat Kazmi's statement of MNIK being miles ahead of Forrest Gump. I mean, Woman! get a clue will you??

3. Gautam Gambhir is the captain of Delhi Daredevils this year. Wow! I did not see that coming. Suddenly I am regretting spending a whole lot of money on my Delhi Daredevils jersey last year. I cant even use it for any other purpose. Dishrag maybe, but that's it. And I was so looking forward to the IPL and sitting in my watering hole and watching Delhi Daredevils matches on the big screen with a whole lot of beer sloshing around in my stomach. *Sigh*

4. Prospective No. "Hopefully-Final" is hovering around the corner. And I see some serious hope here. I so don't want to eff this up. So I am praying for the strength to not be a complete ass this time. Pray along with me people.

Ova and Out

Warring Words

In my pursuit of balance, I had completely lost track of my blog. I remembered this poor-mans version of a counseling session today, when I am down with the flu replete with a runny nose, burning eyes, headache, sore throat and lots and lots of flem!

When I look back at the last few months, they have been the happiest because of a complete lack of events in my life. I plodded on regardless of who was dating who and who lost their job and who is getting married and who is ignoring their so called best friend for the last couple of months. And I was happier because of it.

I have been single for close to three years now despite being in love. Which makes me want to stand up and applaud myself. I am no longer the sniveling little pumpkin full of low self esteem and desperate for human companionship. I am the happiest at the end of the day, cozied up in my room, in my PJ's reading a book or watching the crappiest movie on television. And now I can, finally, totally pass judgment of people who are constantly in and out of relationships. Yeah, I do get lonely sometimes and crave for attention which is when I call up one of my many friends (you know, the ones that you keep on the side like french fries. nibbling on them only when you feel like but usually letting them go cold??). Or if worst comes to worst, I light myself a cigarette and plot ways to kill people who I love but don't love me back.

I loved my new year. I sat in bed with a close friend, ate pizza, watched scary romantic comedies, drank rum and slept at a decent hour of 2. I got up the next morning and played house for my friend, made him breakfast, screamed at him for not having a shower and generally scared my self silly cause I think I am totally ready for domesticity.

My best friend is in an awesome relationship. A little too co-dependent for me but who am I to judge them. The guy is sweet, cute, caring and all that and I think they would be awesome together as long as they work their little issues out.

I went back to music. I had actually lost out a lot of beautiful music cause it reminded me of days when I wasn't myself. I am back though and even though it is a rocky relationship, its so goddamn worth it.

Things are so much better with my family. Everybody is happy giving each other space to live their life, barring a few issues with my father who keeps thinking he get premonitions that my brother and his family need him to be with them when in fact they couldn't hope to be farther away and that causes a little problem which eventually gets sorted. I am the aunt of a beautiful little baby boy and even though he looked like a little monkey when he was born, he has grown into a really cute little goon complete with hooliganism and destruction of property.

So all in all, things are going fine and I think this is the first time that I would be blogging on things going well rather than my usual rants and raves.

This is so much better. I am no longer at war with my words.

No, not really.

I haven't written in ages. And its not because I have abandoned this entire cathartic exercise of mine. Its just that I have started looking at my blog differently. It used to be about exorcising my demons and totally raving and ranting till the cows come home. But somewhere, over the last one year, I started blogging because I wanted to get certain things noticed; make my little change in the world; spread the light and so on.

And frankly speaking, I haven't really found anything which I could think of that would change the world. Nothing bad (or good), no injustice, no justice, nothing (I don't think I would make a good social activist). And I didn't want to be one of those people who write just for the sake of it. If I wanted to do that, I would keep a diary.

And so, I haven't written.

But what I do want to do today, is to wish myself Happy Birthday. I didn't realise that I have been writing for a year now. So much has changed, no? Anyhoo, Happy Birthday to myself! Here's to self awareness and balance.

Cheers!

Not Blocked

I am not suffering from writers block. I just don't have anything interesting to write about.

Except to bring to light a horrid experience I had on the only day it rained like crazy in Delhi. I had to wade through thigh deep water and had to beg someone to repair my tyre puncture.

And I learnt that, despite the fact that I survived the entire experience, I may not be as strong as I thought I was. (I cried like a baby when I found out about my tyre.)

Maha Maya's Maha Muddle!

Thank God!! Someone is doing something about this!

Hello!!!!!

In an attempt to get to know another prospective groom better and vice vera, I have given my blog url to P5. A first for me!

So heres a big shout out to P5. Welcome!!!....and Enjoy!

Self - Help Books and Smooth Talkers

So anyway, before I leave my old job, I want to finish some projects and try my best to not leave any client/project in the middle. One of these clients was an author of a self-help book who was an editor-turned-model-turned-writer-turned-publisher-turned-author-turned-photographer. There were only two ways he could be so bloody versatile, one was that he had no idea what he wanted to do in life and two, he really wanted to explore career options. Turns out, its the first one!

I first time I met him was in his house, with a platter of food in front me (I was on one of my diets, and that platter was all I could focus on (or not!) and he totally took my breath away. Not because my stomach was revolting against my brain or because he was good looking, but because this guy could really bullshit!!!! I mean, he started off by telling me that he completely trusts me and has full faith in my abilities as a PR professional and he is extremely eager to hire my PR services asap! Now I wouldn't mind all this praise except for the fact that HE HAD JUST MET ME!!!!!! Now, my colleague, for example, totally fell in love with him. "Ooooh hes so good looking and he talks so well and I am sure he must be a good author." I am pretty sure that my colleague has never really read a good book in her life but I was amazed at the way women just fall for any glib talking idiot on this planet.

Anyhoo, we did end up getting the project and the work started in earnest. Unfortunately for me, he isn't one of those guys who any media would be interested in but by pushing as much as I could, I did manage some decent enough coverage. Hes really happy and the reason why I know this, is because of a conversation I had with him yesterday when I decided to tell him about me leaving the job. Now, bear in mind that this is just a sample what I had to go through every time I spoke to him.


Ring ring
ST - Hey beautiful!

(Usual greeting! No problem there)

Naal - Hi ST!

ST - How you doing?

Naal - All good, you say? Back from ____?

ST - Yeah, landed today morning!

Naal - Okay St, I have some really bad news! (Ya, right!). I have resigned from here and have decided to move somewhere else.

ST - Nooooooooooooo! You cant do this to me!!! How can you leave me??

Naal - ???

ST - No I mean, you have the magical touch I so need in my life! How can you just abandon me like that??

Naal - No, No ST, I will finish all the work and if there is something pending then my colleagues will take it up. Don't worry, everything will be taken care of!

ST - No Naal, this is really sad news. You were my bright light, my magical touch, my hope, my Man Friday

(Excuse me, Man Friday??? What the...?????).

Naal - (Uncomfortable laughter) No No ST....ahhmmm I will take care of everything!!!

ST - No, but I need you here, with me. No-one can do what you have done. All the amazing coverage that I have got is just because of you. I will be eternally grateful for the amazing work you have done! Please stay!!

Naal - A little late for that (asshole!!). I have already resigned.

ST - Anyway, where are go joining now? Is it better than this?

Naal - Yes, definitely (obviously, no! YOU MORON!)

ST - Ya I guess change is for the good

Naal - Ya....Change is the only constant, right?? (errr, yeah I said that!!!!)

ST - Hahahaha....You've become really wise!
(I am sorry, become???)
You should start writing. I can foresee that in a couple of years you would have written your own self help book and you wont even need to hire PR for it.

Naal - (uncomfortable laughter) Yeah!

ST - Anyway, I know that you are destined for big things in life and you will achieve all what you want to achieve! God Bless!

Naal - (I hate people who say god bless, I mean honestly, how old are you? 90?) Thanks ST!!

ST - Bye Beautiful!

Naal - Bye

Honest!!!!!! Cross my heart and hope to die....that's the conversation I had!

Its all in me and other learnings

I have been relieved for the past few days. A lot of factors contributed to it. I learnt so much and I totally feel like Dr. Phil only better looking and lesser facial hair!

Reliever number 1: I finally quit from my shoddy job, which I can say with complete enthusiasm, was a constant pain in the ass. Although, I needed a break and more than the new job I was excited about the two week holiday I was planning to take before I shifted. Turns out, I get all of 5 days of holiday, which made me want to murder someone with my bare hands and carry her head around in a platter, just for fun. But all in all, I'd rather take 5 days off than none. So, 4th is my last working day. I get on a bus on 5th and head to my fav place on earth, Mcleodganj. I go there about once in 3 months but I hadnt gone in a while and I can literally taste the excitement on my tongue. Mostly because I am finally going there without a boyfriend or ex-boyfriend in tow. And once I come back, I get to join a job which is paying me almost double of what I got at this miserable one. Hows that for relief?

Reliever number 2 was that my counseling is almost over. I have been told that I am healed and I don't really need to go there except for maybe once in two weeks for a month and then once a month for a bit and then over. Healing basically meant that you end up learning that the root cause of all your problems in not in anything else but you. You are the one who causes all the problems and you are the cure for it as well. The moment you learn to respect yourself, to take responsibility and to realise that you are the best version of yourself, you're done. That is the only thing I learnt. All the rest was rubbish!

Reliever number 3 was P4. Now now, I know what your thinking but its not that. It didn't work out. He disappeared. And this time it was much before he met me and saw how fat I was. Which was weird, 'cause men usually don't run out on me till they see me. But fortunately and thanks to my counselling I guess, it didn't really effect me much except for a certain sense of relief. To tell you the truth, I didn't like him too much. I'll tell you the rest later.

Life's a bitch ain't it?? But it definitely has its perks!!!

Move On!!! (Love these ads and these ads, by the way)

And oh ya, Adam Lambert is not the American Idol. Wow! That one was a shocker!! And hes gay too! My mother just nodded her know-it-all head when I told her. "Ya ya I knew. He wore eye makeup and nail polish. Of course he is gay!" Prejudices, I tell you!

And Delhi lost in the semis of IPL. I had bought the jersey and everything! I was in severe depression for a bit but the thought T20 World Cup cheered me up. Also, after the finals, I had nothing to do when I got back home and so, reconnected with family!

And, I luuurrrvvvveeee this 46 year old Swiss Minister (Picture Right) that I briefly did a project with. Oh!! hes soooo adorable! Married though! But who cares!





I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

Learning to Breathe by Switchfoot

twitter, blog, facebook, orkut, and other such www mysteries

We ushered in a new generation of technology in our house a few days back. My father experienced the joys of webcam chat and saw his grandchild for the first time. I had to set it up for him and explain to him that people were doing this a really long time before he even thought of doing it in our house.

So, I just joined twitter and managed to find my way around and it and even got addicted to it, at least for a bit. But to be honest, this online networking thingummy has gotten to me nowadays. It just seems like people are everywhere and you just cant escape them.

Lets start with facebook, shall we? I had joined facebook against all my friends better advice. "Its too confusing, it takes ages to open, you'll get lost in all those applications." I went ahead and joined and really, really liked it. It was addiction from day one. And not to sound too conceited or anything, but I am better acquainted with computers, the world wide web, social networking sites, uploading, downloading and other such complicated issues, than most of my chickie friends. You see, I had a computer way before anyone else did and even in school, people used to come over to my house to practise "Computer Applications" the most obsolete subject now, consisting of programming in DOS and Lotus 123.

Now, because of the presence of a working model of a computer in my house, I managed to play with that thing quite a bit and I soon realised that almost anything that is done on it can be undone. And that was the beginning of a beautiful relationship. One in which I even ended up naming my laptop. "Happy Singh Ji". Don't ask why!

But now, things have changed. Everything is so complicated. RSS feeds, tweets, pokes, applications, cross-links, its just so mind numbing and there have been times when I have just switched off my screen just so I could take a breather. In my profession, its imperative that you use "Social Media" for your clients. The impact is huger and wider, specially if you have to reach out to a target audience consisting mostly of "Urban Youth". We even have a Online Specialist in our office to help out with all of this.

Don't take me wrong, I do realise the need for all this. We need faster communication, paperless offices, accurate information retrieval and all that and I really DON'T have the patience to walk into a government bank and be expected to WRITE down an application!!!

But I still wish I could get a letter in the mail once in a while. And not just my mobile bill but a real letter. One written down by hand, with thought and effort. One that you could hold on to and tie up with a red ribbon. 50 years later I would take it out and show it to my grandchildren. And they would laugh and call me "silly ole granny."

There I go, becoming old-fashioned again!

The aimless wanderings of the nameless mind....

The world takes a turn and I find myself in a closed, claustrophobic room, white, with a window so far away I doubt if I could reach it. I make an attempt because that's what my life is now, attempts. A trial and error method that I learnt in a statistics class a long, long time ago.

The world turns again and now I am surrounded by men. Large, burly men with construction tools. Tools that have blood on them. They all sneer at me. "Its time" they say, "time to choose".

The spinning and turning continues, into a far reaching landscape. Africa, I think. Sparse and cold, lifeless yet again. I hug myself to get some comfort, some warmth. Africa eludes me. Maybe I can turn myself, away from this barren world.

I turn. I fall.

Its 1997, I am sitting in an examination room. There is no electricity. I keep a tissue under my arms so my hands don't slip with the sweat that seems to be exuding out of every pore of my body. I keep writing, regurgitating whatever I had learnt in that one sleepless night with coffee and cigarettes and a phone that doesn't ring, as company.

The turning just doesn't stop. I feel sick now.

I am in a bus, going up the mountains, fervently hoping for a miracle, trusting my life in the hands of a bus driver I will never meet. Its cold. I pull the well worn blanket above my head. It smells of cheap perfume and sweat. I think of a newly married woman, going up the same way, into the mountains, to start an unsure life.

I wait this time, patiently, for the world to come to me. To bring its disillusioned life at my feet. This time, it doesn't happen.

I wait, as I always will, sick and yet, expectant.

I am on the outside and I am looking in....

I went through this entire phase of depression, self doubt, a whole lot of emotional cutting and so-on with absolutely no wish of putting anything down in writing. In any case, I didn't want to be stoned in public which I would have, had I written half of the thoughts I have had in the last couple of months. I still visited occasional blogs though and I found that people have marched on, regardless of my absence. (Kinda makes you feel small and insignificant, donnit?)

Anyway, I started going for counselling. People who have visited my blog often would nod their heads in agreements when I say, I needed it. I do have issues and as my counsellor says, "The first step is becoming aware". Anyhoo, I have gone for a couple of sessions now and believe me it helps, contrary to popular belief. (Exact words of Sa were - But, you'll become dependant!!! and how will you ever get out of it??). I went, nonetheless, and the first session wasn't that great. I mean I opened my mouth and blurted out everything that came to my mind and didn't feel lighter at all. I didn't start crying as I remembered everything although I did come close to tears. It just felt....normal I didn't take any deep breath after the session. But it did make me eager to go again and talk, mindlessly and without the burden of repercussions.

The second session was amazing!! It was like an eye-opener and made me so much more aware of the contradictions and conflicts within me. I did take a deep breath after this one and even though I vowed to make some changes nothing really happened till today morning when suddenly, as I was driving to work, I just became - me!! It was an amazing feeling. I knew what was right and what was wrong. I knew who I liked and who I didn't. I also knew what state the world was in. I was happy. I sang. The world looked good, I smiled at beggars, beggars smiled back. Co-workers, shop-keepers, even dogs smiled back!!!

It is a wonderful feeling!!!

Iaaammmm Baaaaacccckkkk...lalalalala!!!

After a Siesta

How long has it been since you got drunk? Not just drunk. Embarrassingly drunk!!! The kind of drunk, you just never want to remember the next morning.

Its been aggggeeess since that happened to me. Generally, I consider myself to be a mature, sane person; someone who can hold my drinks. However, I found out much to mine and S's dismay that that only holds true if there is beer involved. Yesterday, however, was a different ballgame. It involved a "deadly" drink called Long Island Iced Tea(LIT). For the uninitiated, LIT is a drink you agree to have when you know the results are going to be pretty hot and heavy; the drink consisting of Rum, Vodka, Gin and Tequila. So basically, its a party in your stomach, a bunch of drunk Santas and some scantily clad girl elves do the rounds of your head and you can barely hold your pee.

And if anyone has ever been to Delhi and sampled the LIT at a place called Superstars; you would know what I am talking about. Its the deadliest LIT I have ever sampled and after a couple of them last night these are the following events that took place:

• I stole a salt shaker. I have no idea why. I just did it. Wrapped a tissue around it and calmly put in my bag. (Do you think I am a klepto?)



• I laughed hysterically at old college memories including one of me telling my friends I want a tattoo of an eagle on my butt; placed in such a way that there is one wing on each cheek. Not because of anything else but because it would look like the eagle was flying when I clenched and unclenched my butt cheeks. Creative don't you think? Anch certainly seemed to think so. That's why she has told everyone she knows about this story including her ex. Now, I wouldn't have told a soul about it . It was one of those memories you lock up in a deep, dark place in your mind and never, ever reveal to anyone. But since Anch has already done the deed I thought I might as well throw caution to the wind and publish the story on the World Wide Web. And if you tell anyone, I will kill you!!!



• I spat in my drink. No, not the disgusting picture you have in your brain. I had to. I didn't have a choice. I was laughing so bad, I knew I would have choked if I attempted to swallow the sip I had in my mouth. So the choice of spittoon was Table, S's lap or the glass. I chose the last one. Yes, I do think I am the most disgusting person on the planet. All those in favor say "Aye!!".



• Strawfighting with Anch. For the people who don't know, Strawfighting is when you fight with the other person using your straws as swords. The person who bends the other persons straw first, wins (Okay I just made that rule up. But honestly, I think this should be included as an Olympic sport. Who do you think I could write to about this?) This was when both me and Anch were equally drunk. So I am forgiven.



• Ya, and then I tried to have this intense conversation with S on life and the meaning of it. I have no recollection of the talk. (I am sure S is going to breathe a sigh of relief when she reads this.)

So, that was my one night of abandonment. I felt a million times lighter in the morning in spite of the dehydration, heavy head and this intense craving for coffee.

I recommend a night like this for everyone. Try it! It works!

Naal, ova and out!

Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never be brought to mind?

I officially declare this year to be one of the worst in my life (And, here the new-old guy is going to say - "Why the eff do you keep cribbing for Gods sake!!!"). But it is true. This year has been one of the worst years of my life - The first being '07, "The Year of the Break - Up". I will of course write in detail about that later. Okay, maybe just a few sentences, since I am in the mood of reminiscing. A guy (the guy) broke up with me a couple of weeks before I was supposed to fly down and meet his parents, on the first day of my exams, after our marriage had been fixed, family members informed and celebrations begun (well, almost). Last year was the worst year of my life. And now, you know why. (Anybody who needs his address to pay him a little visit, feel free to contact me!!)

But, I digress. Back to '08. You will find below some of the worst things that have happened this year. They are in descending order of magnitude

1. My best friends mom expired. 'nuff said.
2. Problems arrived on the family front, and how!
3. I had a massive fight with one of my closest friends, and I am never, never speaking to him unless there is some serious grovelling involved.

4. I earn lesser than what I used to last year
5. I started working with The Colleague From Hell.
6. Terror struck the country over, and over and over again. (Give up terroristy people. We will never bow to you.)
7. I went out of town almost always accompanied by an ex-boyfriend (eeeyeh). I dont speak to him anymore and that's made it worse.
8. I didn't fall in love.
9. I almost got married.
10. I saw some good action, hence making me totally emotionally dependant on the person providing it.
11. I did not wake up in someones arms feeling like I was in heaven.
12. I almost got caught lying to my mother (a lesson I still haven't learnt).
13. I made absolutely zero new friends.


And finally,

I got a haircut yesterday. And its horrible! Its as if a mouse was allowed to nibble on my hair. People have actually gasped when they saw my hair and that's almost never good. Nobody gasps at hair, unless its a shampoo ad they're looking at.

Yes, it's been a bad year!

And oh ya, Happy New Year guys!!!

"This Years Love"
By David Gray

So whose to worry
If our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you know this, life goes on

And won't you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet
This years love had better last

The Story of My Life, The Italian Way